


Warmth

by caramelcat



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, starts out a bit sad but ends happy :- Oc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 23:31:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11172375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramelcat/pseuds/caramelcat
Summary: "While his hands would shake, Jeremy would grip them with his own and lessen the trembles. He’d wipe away his tears and tell him that it would soon pass. He would say that he would be okay, and that he would be here for him, always."





	Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> takes place sometime after the musical since it references the bathroom scene n all.. anyway this is jst another short little thing i hope u enjoy !  
> my tumblr is fightown !!

It’s like a fire spreading from his chest, painful and unbearable. It consumes his lungs and he can feel his breath coming out in short, stutter-y gasps. He clutches his chest with one hand while the other grips his throat. A choked sound escapes him as the tears start flowing.

It’s all overwhelming — he can’t think clearly and he just — he needs to calm _down_.

But he can’t.

Because when the fiery hand of fear had placed its hold on him before, he wasn’t alone in those times. While his hands would shake, Jeremy would grip them with his own and lessen the trembles. He’d wipe away his tears and tell him that it would soon pass. He would say that he would be okay, and that he would be here for him, always.

Except in this moment, he isn’t. Michael is alone and sobbing into his sweatshirt as the chill from the porcelain bathtub seeps into him.

It’s quiet and somewhere in the back of his panic-stricken mind he finds this odd. He’s at a party with loud music and equally loud people, which he should be able to hear from the other side of the door. He can make out one sound, though, and as he focuses on it, he realizes that it’s his name he hears. 

“ _Michael? Michael!_ ”

It sounds like -

“Jeremy!” he gasps, sitting up from the bed he’s in.

 _Bed_. He’s in a bed, not in a bathroom sobbing. After rubbing a hand over his face, he quickly realizes he actually is crying.

He jumps when a hand lands on his shoulder.

“Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep…” Jeremy says.

Michael glances at him and sees the concern written all over his face. He looks away and responds, “Yeah, it was just a bad dream, which you could probably tell. It’s no big deal.”

He doesn’t say anything else and goes to lay back down when Jeremy’s response stops him.

“What was it about?”

He sits up fully and debates for a second. Should he tell him? He doesn’t want to keep anything from Jeremy, but he doesn’t want to make him feel guilty.

He can’t meet Jeremy’s eyes as he says, “It was about that night…”

“That night?”

“Yeah, at the party. In the bathroom. After you — I was panicking; you were gone and — yeah. That night.”

There’s a beat of silence, no one moving, until he suddenly feels arms around him and Jeremy’s face pressed against his back.

“I’m here now,” he hears Jeremy say, muffled slightly.

Michael feels a spark of anger or worry or something, and he puts his head in his hands, causing his voice to come out muffled too.

“But for how long? What if something happens and you leave me again? I don’t — I don’t know what I would do.” he admits.

Jeremy holds him tighter and stays quiet. It isn’t until Michael hears a sniffle that he realizes that Jeremy is crying.

“Jeremy, are you...are you crying? Why are you crying? What did I do?”

“That’s just it, Michael. You didn’t do anything.” Jeremy’s voice becomes more frantic. “I did. I messed up. I called you a loser and left you there. Who does that to the person they care about? I love you and yet here I am, the reason you're having nightmares and crying in your sleep. I don’t know if I can ever forgive my-”

“Jeremy, Jeremy. I love you, too.”

Jeremy only holds on tighter and sobs.

_______

Sunlight streams through the slit of Jeremy’s bedroom window curtains, warming Michael as he wakes up.

The first thing he sees is Jeremy, eyes closed and lying curled up close to him. His breathing is even and his face looks impossibly peaceful. Michael can’t help but trace a finger along the edge of his face lightly, taking in the sight.

It’s not long before Jeremy begins stirring, eyes slowly opening and looking at Michael.

“So...what’s, uh, up?”

Michael laughs softly at Jeremy’s usual awkward nature, but quickly turns serious when he looks Jeremy in the eyes and says, “I meant it, what I said. I love you, too.”

“Even after I ignored you?”

“I love you.”

“Even after I called you a loser?”

“I love you.”

“Even after I -”

Michael doesn’t let him finish as he cuts him off with a quick, soft kiss.

“It might still hurt when I think of it all, but I know you aren’t the same person then, and that it wasn’t even really you. I know you’re sorry. And I forgive you because I love you.”

Jeremy looks like he’s about to start crying, but he’s smiling and grabbing Michael’s hand, threading their fingers together.

“I love you, too.”

They’re both smiling at each other now, teary eyed and sleepy in the late morning sun. Michael feels a warmth spreading throughout his body, and everything feels okay. He knows Jeremy isn’t going to leave him again. He’s not alone.


End file.
